I totally stole this idea

One of the moms on my birth month board does this on her blog and I'm totally stealing it. 

Pregnancy: 13 weeks

Weight Gain: 6 lbs  :(  but I gained that in the first week.

Gender:  The tech at my NT scan wouldn't even make a guess.  So for now my anatomy scan is scheduled for September 5th unless I can convince Mike to get an elective one earlier.  I promised I wouldn't ruin it this time by finding out myself at work.

Names:  I haven't really found any that I LOVE.  So far ones we've tossed around are Claire, Cora, Clayton, and I like Cole, but I'm not sure if his parents having a dog named Cole will let that fly.

Feeling:  Pretty cruddy.  I've had this dang cough since Connor and I went to visit Erin.  Its really getting old.  Now its back with a vengeance and I'm running a fever again.  I hate calling off work.  I think I've had more days off since this pregnancy then combined my 3 years there.

Movement:  There's been a few times that I thought I felt the baby, but I'm not sure.  Even during the NT scan baby was super active and I felt nothing so.....

Belly:

Next Appointment: I see the midwife at my new OB's tomorrow afternoon.  I'm hoping to talk to Dr Greenbaum though.



Telling the world

Well its finally facebook official.  I made this pic my profile picture.  Its crazy how nervous I was.

 

And my weekly pic

 

 

At 12 weeks 5 days I had my NT scan.  The MFM said baby looked great, but he wouldn't comment on the bleeds which pissed me off.  I really didn't think much of him and will probably request to see someone else if I have to go back.  He said starting Lovenox was up to me.  Um OK?  So I plan on talking to my OB at my next appointment.

 



A Trip to Minnesota

We rounded out the end of week 10 into week 11 with a visit to Minnesota to visit Angie, Dustin, and the kids.  I love going there because its so relaxing for me.  We kept pretty busy the entire time we were there, but I loved every minute of it.  I got to see the boys play frizbee golf for the first time.  A few hills about killed me, but it was really nice to get out.  We went to the beach and the race track and just hung out as a family.  Here are a couple pics from the trip as well as week 11 belly pic. 

Nothing is Ever Easy

I made it past all of my loss milestones!  The pessimistic part of my mind is still waiting for the worst, but I'm trying to stay positive.  Dr S says with this blood clotting thing I have, that I should be on Lovenox during pregnancy.  Thankfully the SCH finally resolved as of 9 weeks 5 days, but hey guess what?  I have a low lying placenta and a bunch of blood near my cervix.  As long as there is still bleeding so no Lovenox.  So through some miracle, our gummy bear is still fighting without any blood thinners on board.  At 9 weeks 2 days I decided to try out my doppler.  I was laying in the bathtub and after about 5 minutes I was able to find it!  A beautiful heartbeat of 135.  I screamed for Mike, who came running in.  He just rolled his eyes and said I would electrocute myself.  But I saw the look in his eyes.  Hope. 

My next US is on July 10th.  Hopefully we will graduate from Dr. S then.  I'm looking forward to knowing where I will deliver and if they will let me attempt to VBAC.  If the previa doesn't resolve, that won't be an option.  I'm trying not to think about that though.  I finally am starting to feel like this is going to happen.  I bought some gender neutral baby clothes from Baby Gap.  And I started my belly pics. 

Houston We Have a Hearbeat!

I can't believe I'm writing this.  Like literally cannot believe it.  After last week's ultrasound and the SCH I just figured that was it.  Mike wasn't able to make it to this appointment, so my mom ended up driving me.  That way if I got bad news I wouldn't have to drive myself home again.  We were three minutes late and it was so hard to not tell my mom to hurry up!  Dr S got me back into the ultrasound room in about 5 minutes.  The nice thing about him is you barely have time to get your clothes off before he comes in so you don't have to sit there naked forever waiting for him.

As soon as he started he blurted out "There's a heartbeat!"  He turned the monitor so I could see the flicker in our little bean.  You could still see the yolk sac.  He said I measured out to be 6 weeks 3 days.  This baby must have implanted really late.  By ovulation I should be 7 weeks 1 day and by LMP I am 6 weeks 5 days.  Dr S said that the SCH had shrunk from 25% to 5%. 

So the plan.....since the bleed isn't completely gone, I go back next Friday to monitor it.  If its gone then he will start me on Lovenox injections.  My progesterone has dropped from 20's to 12 so he prescribed suppositories twice a day.  Ugh.  But I'll do whatever he says.  My heart can't handle another loss.

I guess I need to catch y'all up on some things.  Lets rewind to May 11th.  I spent the night before drinking daiquiris over the fact that I would be having a hysteroscopy soon and that we had failed to conceive.  The afternoon of May 11th I woke up from a nap with Connor and decided to take yet another pregnancy test.  And it was positive!  I have never gotten a positive test so late in my cycle.  On the 13th I called Dr Nick and he ordered for me to get my beta HCG tested as well as progesterone levels.  It was a whopping 24.  24.  So that means when I got the positive on the 11th it was only like 12.  And supposedly FRER's aren't positive till 25.  It wasn't looking good at all.  I continued in my crazy fashion to POAS to see if the tests were getting darker and thought they were.  My second beta on the 15th was 67!  I was pregnant! 

I continued to get betas drawn, but by the 21st the doubling time had slowed way down.  Dr Nick was starting to get concerned.  He wanted me to come in for an early ultrasound, but we were on vacation with Mike's family.  I was at war with myself between hoping for good news and trying to convince myself to accept that this wasn't going to work out.  Wednesday I finally had my ultrasound.  It showed a gestational sac, yolk sac, and subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH).  Dr Nick told us that one of my labs had come back abnormal.  I guess I have a PAI-1 4g/4g mutation.  From what I understand about it, my body doesn't break down clots right.  In order to negate this, I need to be on blood thinners for a successful pregnancy.  Dr Nick said because of the SCH, I couldn't be started on the blood thinners.  The plan for now is to go back on June 5th for another ultrasound to see if there is a heartbeat.  If there isn't one, I will have my answer and will miscarry for the fourth time.

I keep flip flopping back and forth between, being ok and positive, and completely falling apart.  Not knowing sucks.  I'm so tempted to call Dr H and try and get an ultrasound before then.  But if I don't see a heartbeat what will that get me?  Stuck at work knowing I have another dead baby.  ***sighs***  Hopefully these next few days fly.  I wish I could be one of the lucky women who are oblivious and have no idea that bad things happen in pregnancy.

First RE appointment

Finally!  This morning I had my first appointment with Dr Nick.  I'm glad going into it that I knew he would push IVF thanks to V.  Otherwise I would have been really caught off guard.  After explaining our history to the nurse the doc came in.  I had told the nurse what I do for a living so right away he talked to me in a respectful way.  He acknowledged all my research and that I understood his terms.  He asked if I had any of our babies tested for genetic problems.  When I explained that Dudley told us it would be next to impossible since the baby had died so much earlier he basically called bullshit.  He said that is the old way of thinking and its possible to get genetic information from one cell.  I could kick myself I'm so mad.

He said that we had two options.  He STRONGLY recommended IVF (surprise surprise).  Our other option is to do aspirin and lovenox when I get pregnant again.  When I told him I just ovulated he said if I'm not pregnant in two weeks we will do a hysteroscopy.  He also ordered a few more labs that Dudley didn't order and a karyotype for Mike.  He was more concerned with that my ANA was speckled and said he hoped that I didn't end up with SLE.   He also said that with mostly negative labs that its likely the reason I've had multiple losses is genetic and that's why he pushed the IVF.  I had an ultrasound in the office which confirmed that I did ovulate yesterday.  It also showed some possible scar tissue.  When he was looking at my lining he said it looked "ok".  He pointed out that it should be the same width all the way around, but the posterior side of my uterus was like a jagged line.  So the hystersocopy will rule out scar tissue or if its there, he will try and remove it.  With having a C section and 2 D&Cs in the last two years I was scared that it would be a problem.

All in all I'm really happy with how it went.  Dudley always makes me feel like I'm crazy and nothing is wrong.  Dr Nick acknowledged the issue and gave us a plan.  When Mike commented that my charting actually was correct, Dr Nick complimented me on being informed.  He also said he gives nurses an $1000 discount on IVF lol.