I guess I need to catch y'all up on some things.  Lets rewind to May 11th.  I spent the night before drinking daiquiris over the fact that I would be having a hysteroscopy soon and that we had failed to conceive.  The afternoon of May 11th I woke up from a nap with Connor and decided to take yet another pregnancy test.  And it was positive!  I have never gotten a positive test so late in my cycle.  On the 13th I called Dr Nick and he ordered for me to get my beta HCG tested as well as progesterone levels.  It was a whopping 24.  24.  So that means when I got the positive on the 11th it was only like 12.  And supposedly FRER's aren't positive till 25.  It wasn't looking good at all.  I continued in my crazy fashion to POAS to see if the tests were getting darker and thought they were.  My second beta on the 15th was 67!  I was pregnant! 

I continued to get betas drawn, but by the 21st the doubling time had slowed way down.  Dr Nick was starting to get concerned.  He wanted me to come in for an early ultrasound, but we were on vacation with Mike's family.  I was at war with myself between hoping for good news and trying to convince myself to accept that this wasn't going to work out.  Wednesday I finally had my ultrasound.  It showed a gestational sac, yolk sac, and subchorionic hemorrhage (SCH).  Dr Nick told us that one of my labs had come back abnormal.  I guess I have a PAI-1 4g/4g mutation.  From what I understand about it, my body doesn't break down clots right.  In order to negate this, I need to be on blood thinners for a successful pregnancy.  Dr Nick said because of the SCH, I couldn't be started on the blood thinners.  The plan for now is to go back on June 5th for another ultrasound to see if there is a heartbeat.  If there isn't one, I will have my answer and will miscarry for the fourth time.

I keep flip flopping back and forth between, being ok and positive, and completely falling apart.  Not knowing sucks.  I'm so tempted to call Dr H and try and get an ultrasound before then.  But if I don't see a heartbeat what will that get me?  Stuck at work knowing I have another dead baby.  ***sighs***  Hopefully these next few days fly.  I wish I could be one of the lucky women who are oblivious and have no idea that bad things happen in pregnancy.